I’ve always battled with an unreasonable fear of “losing myself” once I became a mom. Although I knew that motherhood would instantly change everything, I desperately wanted to continue doing things that make me happy. Like occasionally listening to loud hip hop in my car, yeah I’m that mom. But once I stopped operating from a point of fear, I quickly realised I just need to learn how to find balance.
But how does one balance it all? Is it even possible? Although I’m not quite there yet, today I would like to share with you how to find balance as a mother.
Make Time for yourself
I’m going start off by clarifying that self-care doesn’t require you to book yourself into a luxury spa or jet off on a memorable weekend away with your gorgeous girlfriends. Reading your favorite book in your bedroom and taking an afternoon nap are both forms of self-care. Self-care doesn’t require one to spend extravagantly at all times. A good workout and meditation are undoubtedly my favorite self-care activities.
Learn to say no
You don’t have to attend every single event that you’re invited to. I don’t know how many times I’ve dutifully attended an event and realised I would’ve been better off at home with my tribe or cuddling up with a book next to the fire. I’m so done with that life. Not only do you have to be selective about how you spend your time, who you spend your time with is just as important. This year I’ve genuinely committed to staying away from negative people that drain my energy.
I know that we don’t all have the same workload. But try working as efficiently as you can during working hours. That way you can spend quality time with your tribe or make time for self-care after hours.
If you can comfortably afford to hire help, do so. No need for Super Mom tendencies in 2019! I have a full-time helper at home, so I don’t do any housework during the week. Which means I can focus on my work, family, and self-care. If you feel like you don’t’ have time to do homework with your kids then get a tutor or an au pair, there ain’t no shame in that mama.
If you had you to go into my notes app in my phone at any given time, you are guaranteed to find a to-do list. The ultimate trick with to do lists is to limit them to a maximum of five activities per day. Lengthy lists are intimidating and let’s be honest, you rarely cross off all the activities at the end of your day.
Introduce Family Traditions
Eating dinner together as a family is one of our longest standing traditions. And I intend passing it down to our children so that they can do the same with their own families. No matter how busy we are, we repeatedly gather around the dinner table at 6:30 every evening. We use that time to enthusiastically share our highs and lows for the day and discuss any other important issues. It’s a great way to wind down and reconnect as a family.
It is clear that finding balance in motherhood and your career is not easy but it is possible. With a little bit of commitment to change, you will be well on your way to enjoying a more balanced life. How do you find balance? Let me know in the comments below.
Photographer: Elsie B Photography
Asante and Owami Dressed by : Soda Bloc