The one thing that I’ve learnt in the past couple of years, is that your marriage has to come first, yes even if you have kids. It is critical that your union remains solid, otherwise external factors will easily contaminate your relationship. Our lives are consumed with parenthood, careers, running a household and everything that comes with that. It’s no surprise that at times your marriage can take the back seat and everything else becomes a priority. I’m not saying that you should neglect your children or your career for that matter, but your marriage should come first. Relationships are work, while so many of us are happy to work on our fitness or career goals, when it comes to our intimate relationships, we tend to neglect them. When people commit to a relationship, they don’t stop growing. In fact, without investing in that relationship and prioritising it, it can be really easy to grow in different directions without even knowing it. Marriage is tough, raising kids is even more difficult, and when you combine the two, there are going to be rough patches.
Whether you’ve been married for 5 days or 5 years, date night is a ritual that you should regularly observe. When my husband and I first got married, Friday night was date night without fail. Things changed over time, but date night is still a ritual in our marriage. I absolutely love it, especially when he plans everything and manages to surprise me. It’s a special time for us to catch up and reconnect, without the kids in the background.
Date night doesn’t mean you going to a fine dining restaurant with an orchestra in the background and a dozen of roses, though that never goes astray, let me tell you. It can be something that you do at home, such as a screen free night once a week or a picnic in your backyard. Basically, carving out the time to be just focused on each other.
If date night is a ritual in your household, congratulations you’re on the right path. Remember, if you want your marriage or relationship to last a lifetime, it needs the attention that it deserves.