There’s no better feeling than being in a space where you know exactly what you want out of life. It has taken me many years filled with profound disappointments, considerable hardships and heartbreaks to finally reach this pivotal point. But it hasn’t come easy.
I’ve had to make some major life changes in the past two years of my life. It all started with our move to a small town in KZN. I suddenly had all this time in my hands, I genuinely knew that God had graciously granted me with the opportunity to start again. An opportunity to live a more purposeful and content life, in my own terms. Here are 5 things to say goodbye to in order to live a more purposeful life.
Being a quitter
I’m a reformed quitter. If I look back in my life, I realise I just never followed through with anything. Whenever the going got tough, I would just quit. Whether it was Varsity, relationships or business ventures. Heck, I’ve even quit business ventures in my head before the implementation phase. Now, I don’t start anything unless I know I will follow through and willingly give it my undivided attention. Whatever I start, I will finish. Because winners don’t quit on themselves!
Making excuses
I touched a little bit on this in my previous post. We come up with excuses when we don’t want to take ownership of our stuff. And the more excuses we make the further we move away from a life that we can be proud of. I don’t have enough time, I’m not ready or I’m afraid to fail. All of those excuses were part of my vocab, up until I decided to take ownership of my stuff.
Complaining
I instantly stopped complaining when I discovered it only fueled negativity. And honestly, nobody wants to spend time with people who love to complain. If you’re unhappy about something, then find a viable solution and keep it moving. Let’s keep it positive.
Saying no to relationships that no longer serve me
AAAAGH this is a tough one. I’m one of those people that would willingly stay in toxic relationships until it was too late. Call me the “fixer”, I’ve always thought that I had the power to change people. And more importantly, I didn’t believe I was worthy of healthy relationships. I can’t think of anything that can possibly be more taxing. I have now learnt it is possible to love people from afar. Just because I love you or you are family, doesn’t mean we have to spend time together. I don’t’ have time for people who constantly disappoint me or drain my energy.
Bad habits
So a few months ago we decided to cancel DSTV and subscribed to Netflix. Those who are close to me know that I love me some Real Housewives. Whether it’s the Housewives of Atlanta, Beverly Hills or Orange County you bet I would have been the first person to fill you in on the latest gossip. As much I’m still suffering from severe withdrawal symptoms, I think that is one of the best decisions we’ve ever made. I still watch TV, but definitely not as much as I used to. I am now able to focus on my family and my work.
It is clear that one needs to make some tough decisions if you want to live a more purposeful life. It all starts with the commitment to make a change, and you will be well on your way to living a life that you’ve always desired. What are the things that you need to say goodbye to in order to live a more purposeful life? Let me know in the comments below.
Love B
I love this! It’s so difficult to uproot yourself from toxic environments and people. So difficult.
You’re right it’s not easy, but it is possible.
No 4 hit home for me😞 being a fixer it’s hard and staying in relationships that no longer makes you happy. Being an only child I always wanted to belong , always chasing after friendships and not wanting to step on people toes.
I never understood the word letting GO until I said no to those relationships. I’ve lost few friends and family members. But you know what I’m good and I’m at PEACE
Hi Linda,
So true. You must protect your peace at all costs!
Hi Bayanda,
This literally spoke to me and I mean all the points. I quit at a lot of things until 2 years ago I decided to come out of my comfort zone to challenge the monster called excuses or procrastination. I always believed in giving people the benefit of the doubt and hoping they will change, booom… I will still be disappointed and at that time, their not even worried. their enjoying their life while I sat alone asking myself mara why, which I had no answers to.
I then decided very late in my life to forget about the world and do me. I decided to stop putting the key to my happiness in other peoples pockets. I decided to love me before I could teach the next person on how to love me. I stopped stressing over things which I have no control over. Stopped blaming people and took matters into my own hands. I have learned to stop sharing thing prematurely most importantly to appreciated the small genuine circle I have in my life
Absolutely. Once you take ownership of your stuff everything changes!
Thank you for sharing…I’m one person who can’t let go of toxic relationships,I feel like I can always do better, but slowly and surely I started to realise that some people won’t stick around even when you treat them good,they’re don’t care and unless they decide to change their attitude that’s when everything can workout… everything in life is a choice,just that our fears cage us and we get to miss a lot in life.🙂
So true, it’s not always easy to let go. Iv’e also struggled in the past, but protecting my peace is my number one priority.
Wow.. That brought tears in my eyes coz honestly and trully. Your struggles you have noted sum up my own.. Some of them I have overcomed, but some im trully still struggling. But Bayanda I just keep feeding my mind with all positive and empowering reads such as your blog. Wheeew growing up!!!
Hey friend!!!
Thank you so much for reading my blog! I love sharing my experiences. I started off wanting to inspire other women, but my blog has inspired me to be a better woman.
What an insightful article, if there’s one I’ll do I’ll stop making excuses!
Hi Musa,
I wish I had learnt this lesson earlier. It’s changed my life!
Thank you for your blogs, you have no idea how they are helping me. I’m a single mom to a 10 year old. We also decided to cancel the DSTV for Netflix., i must say i dont miss it at all, it was taking too much of my time, we are spending so much time together now.
Thank You.
Hi Thobile,
So, true. Best decision ever. I actually don’t watch TV during the week anymore.