From the time I fell pregnant with my first child, I remember being inundated with advice from older moms. By all means, it’s important that we learn from others that have walked the parenting journey before us. But it’s also important to take everything you hear with a pinch of salt. We shouldn’t allow other people’s experiences to dictate how we navigate mom life.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve discovered that we frequently hear things about motherhood that are not entirely true. There are certainly more, but today I want to share 5 common misconceptions about motherhood and what new moms need to know.
Motherhood is a distraction
For the longest time I sincerely believed that once you have children, you can pretty much kiss your dreams and aspirations goodbye. Yes, your life will instantly change because you have an entire human being that is fully dependent on you (no pressure!). But we are so fortunate to be able to bear children and be back in the boardroom a few months later, and that’s if we choose to. Motherhood has motivated me to live a life that I love because I want to inspire my children to do the same.
Your children should always come first
You cannot take care of others unless you take care of yourself. Easier said than done right? As women, we are brought up to believe that we have to always put others needs before our own. Then we typically take that to another level when we have kids, all of sudden we just don’t matter anymore. But the fundamental truth is that children undoubtedly deserve to have a mother that is fulfilled and happy. It’s okay to treat yourself now and again, you deserve it.
Moms Support Other Moms
I cannot believe how other moms are repeatedly the first ones to criticise each other’s parenting styles. The mom shamers community is growing exponentially, especially on social media. It’s as if we are just waiting for someone to fail so that we can criticise them and feel better about ourselves. We continuously choose to put each other down instead of enthusiastically supporting each other. On the flip side, I have an extraordinary group of moms in my life who are always willing to support and encourage me. What more could a girl ask for?
You’re Expected to be the Perfect Mom
I’m a reformed perfectionist. Up until recently, I was proud to consider myself a perfectionist but I’ve learned that it’s one of my biggest flaws. Perfectionism is a weakness; you are constantly satisfying your fake self. It prevents you from living the kind of life that you genuinely want for yourself because you are too busy trying to impress others. We need to get rid of this notion that we are supposed to be supermoms because that kind of mom just doesn’t exist.
Children need to be smacked for poor behavior
We must remember that our primary role as parents is to gently guide and teach our children. And we can achieve that without intentionally inflicting physical pain on them. Yes, there should be consequences for unacceptable behavior, but we should consider finding alternative disciplinary methods. I no longer believe in smacking my kids, and that is a choice that I’ve made because it’s just not the way I want to raise them. Remember, we don’t have to parent the way our parents did in the past.
There are many common misconceptions about motherhood. It takes a couple of years to get to a stage where you are comfortable enough to establish your own rules. You need to figure out what works for you and trust that you are making the right choices for yourself and family.
Comment below to let me know what is the biggest lie you’ve heard about motherhood.
Photographer Elsie B Photography